Kindness Fatigue

Since the beginning of the year I have attempted to make a routine of practicing kindness on a daily basis. Some days I am proud of my success, other day I feel a complete and miserable failure. Why is this?

For me, as I do the "inner work" to be a person of authenticity and integrity, I find that there has become a shift in my circle. Maybe it comes with being a person "of a certain age" but I no longer feel that I have any more time to waste on others that are not genuine in words and deeds.

As I become more aware of my own inner voice and the how that impacts others I also can't help but observe those around me. Aware that my power lies in my ability in how I choose to react to people and situations, often not in my control.

As I practice this awareness, it becomes clear, relatively quickly, those that are "real" and those that are "not real" and/or have an agenda of some sorts.

As an active people pleaser for most of my life, I can no longer expend the energy that it takes to not put my self care first. The desire for fitting in and feeling accepted is no longer predominant but rather secondary to inner peace and tranquility.

This has meant distancing myself from those who are emotional drains to my best care.

As I choose to grow and prioritize my own needs above others, to my surprise, I have gotten pushback. As I shift, I get: "you've changed!" "YES. Yes I have, thank you for noticing."

In the past, for me, "NO" usually meant "yes", if pushed. And "maybe" was a "for sure".

Now, "NO", really does mean "not going to happen". And that has caused some to view me with a bit of a :"but why?"

Simple. I want to practice kindness. Doing so authentically means having an increased awareness of my own needs and goals as well as a better view of what that means when interacting with others.

I have come to find that in doing so, many of my relationships with friends, family and family of choice, have changed. Some, whom I thought of as friends, are really friendly acquaintances, and family, and how I choose to define it, has changed as well. Some members are biological but most whom I truly cherish are not.

The dictionary defines kind as: a sympathetic attitude toward others, and a willingness to do good. But I am, and some may view this as selfish, no longer going to engage with people or situations where kindness is not reciprocated. Life is too short and I am no longer young.

In a world that some days seems insufferable and intolerable practicing kindness is exhausting. Especially if you, like I, are trying to make kindness a daily practice.

So, I encourage you TODAY to be the bright light for someone by implementing or maintaining your own kindness practice.

Because kindness counts!

In order not to suffer from kindness fatigue I have tried to do the following daily:

"Look for the glimmer, practice the shimmer, diminish the dimmer."

Edward John

Until we meet again on Serenity Road I wish you calming peace, good health and abundant wellness.